It's been a week and a day since I've heard anything from him and what do you know? I miss him like crazy! lol
I feel a bit better after talking to a girl at work last night. She brought to fact what little she knew of his character and said from that she honestly doesn't think that he will off and disappear, that he really likes me. I've tried to calm myself with this thought. I want it to be true. Why is it I struggle with accepting and believing in the good? I mean, as I started to write this I felt confident and then it slipped. I started to think of other things that point my thoughts in a different direction and I find myself again worrying that it'll be a while before I hear from him and when I do it will be just to say that life is just too stressful right now and that we can't be together. That would crush me. :/
I have to work on a paper and naturally I can't focus. I wish, for my own selfish reasons, that I could be talking to Jeff at this time. Just to break from reality, explain my stress and worry over finals, feel his comfort, hear about whats going on with him, be able to comfort him back, plan exciting events for the summer, hug him, hold his hand, kiss him...
The one thing that I keep trying to remember is that there is plenty of time. So what if we don't get to spend the end of this school year together encouraging each other to finish out strong with the semester. So what if we don't get to go to the zoo or baseball games in Chicago before the summer classes start? So what if we don't necessarily get to kick off the summer together. There is plenty of time ahead for those things and this is just a bit of a test. I don't need to be saddened about us missing out because I'm confident that there is plenty of time for us to be together and have fun. And soon, he'll let me in enough to be there for him during the struggles as well.
Alas, I still miss him.
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